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september 2010

i feel completely lost in thoughts of you,
i can't find the right words to tell you,
you were this bright light in my eyes,
too far from it now, i thought this feeling would be so far gone.

september 2010

i feel like my dark soul is sleeping,
it feels locked down,
i feel like it still slips out and destroys pure thought.
my nightmare, will i keep seeing you?
perplex feelings, dry throat and my eyes sting,
leave me alone, can you let me rest in peace?
disillusioned to reality still
i lay cold with all my books on the floor,
i lied, shut my lips tight all this time....

september 2010

if i could only take back
every word, every frown in frustration you had with me,
every sweet thing i made you believe, i would.... save you from myself.

september 2010

there's so many people in the world,
so many soulless streets i've wandered,
how could i have met you?
how could one city just deprive me of so much heart,
why did it take me a while to start breathing again,
i was hurting so much and now it's just gone....
i can hear this clock ticking.... i hear it every night, every silent moment i spend alone.
cold feet, dry lips, my eyes sore


now i take a look at everything i unpacked,
why did i care so much about material things?
for a few weeks it felt like i had it all...

summer 2010

this is the first time i have so much love to loose,
this time going home will really hurt...


can't believe it was only a few months ago i was a solo employee at a shitty tobacco store
selling glass pipes to total crackheads, last weekend i was singing in church...
now my mind is lost in the clouds
i keep waking up every 4 hours and looking at my surroundings,
is this real? and i know everything will change again as soon as i arrive home

goodnight and goodmorning love.

Sometimes i wish i knew someone that could make me smile daily,Everyday here makes me wonder...how bitter i am


lately been finding myself stuck inbetween my dreams and real life...
yet again i listened to the wrong thing and fell for it,
now i need to be home, no matter how many miles I'm away  , no matter how long I'm gone
i still feel the same... my mind can't relax
I'm just lost in doubt.


from the first album tour, i should really go get their new album.


I didn't show up.
I'm too scared
I'm too scared
to show her my notebook full of insecurities and dreams,
how can i seek help if i keep running away?
why can i only relate to psychotic ward patients these days?
I feel like I've dumb en down...


There's no other place in the world that makes me smile the way home never did. The place of my dreams the same place with dark corners i ran away from, i never tell shit anymore so fuck it I was always just here, all you had to do was call me. My heart is going off beat I'm being lead off to a different path, I wish our worlds collided but I'm not you...

april 2010

my body's trembling
my right hand is still shaking...
from holding that black pen...
where i just wrote and wrote pages
of so much resentment, tears running down my face, plain shame
the same hate and love in my blood that keeps my heart pumping,
the same memories that are driving me insane,
on lines in a notebook, so that someone with a degree in psychology can analyze me.


... the love that i left behind is going to finish me.
Tags: worst day

last weekend

back last tuesday with a cold. walked everywhere with an empty stomach dropped some weight gained new "memories", so many things i could've seen but my feet were too painful.

it's over.

hurting so much again
time to search over and over again for that light that will get me back on track.

part of 2nd verse from common's electric wire hustle flower

Somebody screamin in my mind, I'm tryin to find if it's me
Or voices on the master, they desgin to be free
Same revolt, can't be found on TV, or radio, its livin in me
Hey lady, that smoke is bothering me
If I put it in your eye, ashes you would cry

to: news

lost my mind for a couple of hours
back to shock
i think im gonna throw up
darkness all around me
stop talking about fucking money and everyone dying
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